First, you'll need rennet, milk, citric acid, a thermometer and a big ol' stainless steel pot.
Oh, and a toddler. Preferably one this cute:
Dissolve the rennet in water. We use vegetable rennet over here. See the whole milk? You can make it with lowfat milk, but why bother?
Look down at kitchen floor and see crazy child hopping around. Behold the mess she has made so far. Realize that you are only a few minutes into what is at least a 1/2 hour process. Wonder what else will happen:
Pour citric acid into milk in pot. Turn up heat and wait for the milk to hit 90 degrees:
Better check that out. Oh, hey Sadie. Why are you hissing at me?:
The curds are still too small so I whipped out the cheesecloth to strain it and hoped that it would catch all the curd:
It seemed to work, but then I was confronted with the dilemma of how the heck one cleans cheesecloth. I'll tell you a secret- I threw it out, I am going to just buy a new one..shhhh. Don't hate me- Our washing machine broke yesterday and we are currently without a way to clean clothes, and that puppy was not washing off in the sink by hand. Yes! I tried, what do you think I am, a monster???
Toddler can no longer take you ignoring her. PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!!!!
Take out curds, heat up in pot or microwave and squeeze and knead:
While you are kneading and it is impossible to touch anything, toddler decides to visit one of her favorite haunts, the garbage. What does she find? The eggshells (raw egg) from the earlier baking of cookies, of course:
Suddenly you are bombarded with images of your child stricken with Salmonella, lying in a hospital bed. The doctors are shaking their heads, wondering what kind of mother you are, Letting a child, a child! play in the garbage with raw eggs!
So you say "GET away from the garbage, Sadie!" forcefully. Hoping that for once she'll actually listen when you say no. Well, it works. Maybe a little too well:
You cool it down and oh my goodness. You made cheese. I made cheese!